The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
