She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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