they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize