True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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