why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
