I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
