My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
