I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
