People in love make me want to vomit
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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