no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
