Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
