i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
