I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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