So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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