What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
