I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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