I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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