I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
