This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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