i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
