Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
