It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Randomize
