He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We don't watch enough power rangers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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