judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
