We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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