Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
