I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
