eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Mom said you looked used
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
