Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How does it feel to date your dad?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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