I only kidnapped one of them. chill
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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