I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
