Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
