you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
