I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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