He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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