No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
