Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
