you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize