love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
