In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
