Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
