Are we in a gay sports bar?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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