it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have aggressive nipples.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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