If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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