yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
