Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
