you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
