So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
