I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
