I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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