you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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