what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
