just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he fucked my hip out of place.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I just shit out all my problems.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
