this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
