Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
