My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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