So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
