I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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