I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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