i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you inspire me to be a worse person
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
