Did you just see the Batmobile???
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
