just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize