are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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