My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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