he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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