I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just found puke in my bra..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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